Chaos
by always-kh
Summary: chaos chaˊos Noun Definition: complete disorder or confusion Alternate Definition: When Yuffie gets her hands on a spell-book and tries playing matchmaker pairings:tifaxSquall/leon, and hints of yuffentine, tidusxyuna, and aurikku


**disclaimer: FANfiction. think about it. all i o****wn is the plot. i would never have had the pure genius for all that is kingdom hearts--like putting disney and ff characters in there.**

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chaos  
chaˊos  
Noun  
Definition: complete disorder or confusion  
Alternate Definition: When Yuffie gets her hands on a spell-book

* * *

Yuffie burst in again, "Aww you're still not making out c'mon!"

This outburst sent Tifa into an intense blush, "Y-Yuffie, don't say things like that!" she stammered.

"Why? You and Squall—I'm sorry LEON—really should make out some time."

Tifa turned to the other man whom she'd met in her traveling several years back and who had only recently joined their group at Traverse Town. "I'm sorry she's… just like this sometimes. She really isn't so bad; she takes some getting used to though."

A little unsure what to say or do after his (non)response Tifa just stood there in front of him feeling a little awkward, completely forgetting about the ninja in the background. That was a major contributing factor to the events that followed.

Said ninja was ruffling through the books, muttering, "Ignoring me like that, I know she likes him why can't they just move on to the making out already? Lessee… ah here's nice spell…'It will give the subjects a whole new appreciation for each other'… Hmm well that sounds good… what else?... 'The caster….' Ah, blah, blah, blah; what's the spell? Oh, here we are!" She quickly read off the spell and was surprised as the room started spinning. _It's like that time I snuck into that bar. Oh Leviathan, not again, ugh I feel nauseous._ She snapped the book shut as she stumbled around a little almost drunkenly. Then the spinning stopped and everything felt normal. _Shoo, glad that stopped; thought I was about to lose my lunch, grossness._

_  
_Then she scanned around the room she saw Teef and Squallie and they looked normal except they were friggen huge why would the spell make them grow?! Then she looked around at everything, the books, the chairs, the people, everything was huge! "Ahhh, I'm a midget!" she shrieked. "I know I'm a shorty but I'm not this short! What the hell did that do?!"

That seemed to snap the other two out of some kind of a semi trance, "Yuffie, what did you do?" Tifa asked putting her hand up to the bridge of her nose in a very Squall-esqe gesture. That was just weird. "Hey Teef" she called but the girl didn't move in response even though Squallie jerked a little at the name, "Maybe you are spending too much time with Squallie. You're even acting like him!" But Tifa made no response except for gingerly rubbing her back.

"Am not," Squall responded crossly.

"Errr Squall you feeling okay?" she asked with concern.

"What game are you playing at Yuffie?" He gazed around the room as he continued "It's me--" suddenly he gaped out as he looked at Tifa, "What the hell? That's MY body then what am…" he, or Yuffie supposed she actually, gazed at her new body the same time Squall looked at his new figure but any sounds of surprise he made were completely drowned out by hers. "What the hell did you do?!" she screamed though the voice was lower than Tifa's she still managed to get some pretty high decibels in there. Both of the others in the room covered their ears at the sound.

"Oops?" the ninja offered back. "Umm it was a spell?" she offered helpfully.

"Which spell?" Tifa demanded.

"Umm I dunno; never really paid attention to the name, just what it said."

"Well did it list any ways to go back?"

"Um I never actually read that far. Hey it never said that it'd do all this freaky stuff all it said was it would give the two it was cast on 'a whole new appreciation for each other'. I didn't think it would actually do anything freaky."

Squall, who had to this point been sitting, stood up groaning and demanded, "How do you walk? How can you even stand with…" he gestured uncomfortably around his now very large chest, "this," he concluded lamely.

Tifa chortled with unsuppressed mirth. And it sounded awfully close to a giggle. A giggle coming from Squall's body. This was officially part of some parallel universe Yuffie decided. But if she'd had a camera on her it woulda made some excellent blackmail.

"Seriously, how do you not have major back problems?" he pressed curiously.

"Wow so you can talk," Tifa teased.

"Yeah I know, I thought the only word in his vocabulary was 'Whatever'", Yuffie added cracking herself up but she quickly muffled her chuckling when she saw two glares directed her way making a little noise resembling a frightened 'eep'.

"So what should we do with her?" Tifa asked while taking the gunblade out of its holster and making a few tentative swings with it to try it out and then flinching and dropping the weapon when a loud boom rang out.

"Be careful where you point that thing!" the ninja squawked indignantly that had come much too close to her own miniature body for comfort.

"How do you wield that thing without killing someone or something accidentally?" Tifa asked her voice still a little shaky from the shock.

"You get used to the weapon," he shrugged. "You train with blanks or with it empty."

"Oh that makes sense… What do we do with her?"

"I say… we leave her with the gullwings," Leon suggested with a mischievous grin that neither woman could believe and that looked so odd on Tifa's face but an expression that Yuffie could never _imagine_ Squall wearing. And she had a very good imagination thank you very much.

Yuffie's face had whitened considerably at that suggestion she didn't get along with them ever since they'd stolen one of her ice creams and now it was practically a prank war between the two groups. And now she'd be at their mercy. "No, no, no, please don't," she begged.

But now both just gave her those evil smirks. Aw shit she was in trouble! She scrambled back but not quickly enough. "No, you can't take me there! You need me. I know you're gonna want to get back to your original forms before you have to use the bathroom and what about showers!" Tifa's face whitened at that statement while Squall only hid another smirk. Tifa caught that look and smacked his shoulder.

"Perv!" she cried out rather loudly.

"Hey you can't really blame the man. At least you don't normally catch him ogling you. And what if it had been Reno? He'd already be groping himself or you I guess it really depends on how you look at it although it wouldn't really be you…" the ninja chattered on and they both ignored her.

"Reno?" he asked with some confusion.

"He's… from our old world. Biggest player around. Liked to hang around my bar. We were enemies for a good long while. We were actually all older on that planet, Yuffie was nineteen, but I seem to be the only one who remembers everything. Cloud and Aerith don't seem to remember anything... except Sephiroth... and maybe that's all for the best after all she died and he was so torn up about it on our world. But Yuffie still remembers some things… like Vincent. He died defending us from the heartless that's where Cloud got his cloak and that gauntlet. Yuffie was absolutely torn up about it. I think maybe that's why she plays matchmaker so much… or tries to anyway. She feels like she missed out. She doesn't want anyone else to," Tifa ended sadly.

"So she was nineteen then huh, so can you tell me does she ever grow up?" he asked in an obvious attempt to cheer her up.

Tifa chuckled, "Nope. She's always still Yuffie. She matures a little but she's still always the sunshine for our group."

"So you guys were heroes on your planet?"

"…Yeah kinda. But we couldn't do anything when the Heartless came. Believe me Yuffie tried. What about you?" she inquired not realizing that they had both sat on the floor during the course of the conversation and that the gap between them had closed some.

"Yeah same here. We'd faced a threat years before and ever since then people started getting too lax. I came from a military school so many of us remained vigilant, but when the Heartless came it didn't matter. I was only around twenty-one at the time but going through the portal aged me... but from what I hear another friend, Selphie, escaped too and it sounds like she's younger now... so I guess people change going through those things but in different ways. I think it has to do with the properties of space and time where we ended up, where we began, but that's more a theory than anything else."

Tifa now had her head resting lightly across Leon's shoulder. "Hmm that's a point. Maybe we should talk to the gullwings maybe something similar happened to them." She didn't want to move though. She felt so comfortable sitting next to him. Then her face heated up as she realized exactly where she was sitting and she leapt up as though scorched, and grabbed the mini Yuffie.

"Yuffie, I know you said you're a midget but you're actually smaller than that," she pointed out to the girl who now only stood inches tall. "You're really actually the same size as the gullwings. Actually... now that I think about it; we never really asked them about their pasts. Maybe... they're under a spell or the effects of a portal or something of the sort too... it would explain their sizes. We should know more about all this."

* * *

"Yeah we weren't always like this!" the one in the orange scarf chirped to Tifa. "We used to be big like you! Okay maybe not… but like her!" she said pointing to Squall because he was in Tifa's body but they certainly didn't know this bit of information. (They'd figured it was safest for all those in the town if no one knew that about half the town's defenders were out of action for a bit. Hopefully. How long they could keep the charade up was... debatable.

Then she flew over to Squall swiftly glancing back over her shoulder, "Good Yunie's talking. Listen can you do me a favor? If in your travels you come across a guy named Auron… not that that's likely but… if you do then… tell him I said hi… and if you meet someone named Tidus then let me know. Yunie… really wants to see him and he's always been a good friend; you wouldn't believe the things we had to go through to get him back on our world before."  
"You might be surprised what we would believe," Tifa answered wryly and suddenly the tiny… girl, fairy, thing launched into a story about Sin, and Pilgrimages, and Aeons and then all these other names and words and things like unsent and Zanarkland and then she said that one of her friends had been a dream and the other had never truly been alive but that they hadn't known that and so the two girls had fallen in love with these men.  
"And I kinda understand it because Tidus didn't even know, at least not until just before the end, but Auron did and he didn't even tell me!" the girl clenched her tiny fist angrily. "And… and he never even said goodbye!" she finally wailed, sinking over to Squall's shoulder and he tried to comfort her as best he could… which admittedly wasn't much. She was the size of his palm after all.

"If we see either of them we'll let you know," Tifa promised.

The small flying former human cheered up immediately, "Thanks Leon!"

"…You're welcome," Tifa finally replied after a moment's hesitation.

They managed to collect Yuffie before heading out.

"So then what about you?" Tifa asked him as they began walking back, after all they'd now heard the stories of everyone else in Hollow Bastion. So he began to explain about time compression, and Sorceresses and knights, and things which gave Tifa a headache. But she in turn began explaining things. She began about mako and Gaia and he was so interested in the topic she finally growled at him, "Look that's all I know. If you want to know more you should hope that maybe there are still some old ShinRa scientists on the loose; I don't. But they would be the ones who could answer these questions, can I please continue now?" He finally stopped with his questions and she continued about SOLDIER, Sephiroth, Cloud, Aerith's death or rather Aeris as she had been called then and once again explained that she didn't know why or how she appeared here and now and alive and with no recollection of these events, Jenova, Meteor, Sephiroth's defeat and death (and that once again no she didn't know how he was alive much less here on this planet), Deepground, Tviets, and so much more.

"So then is it possible Vincent's still alive too?"

Yuffie, who had remained largely unconcerned now turned to him eagerly, "Vincent? How do you know about Vincent?!"

"I heard about him from Tifa."

The ninja's face fell. Then she realized something, "Now that we've finished this conversation and the Q and A can we go?! Pleaseee!" she whined. Then she considered, "Unless you guys want to be stuck in each others bodies. Bathing will be fun then won't it?" she teased wickedly. "Yup I can just…" she was quickly silenced as Tifa, still blushing furiously, covered Yuffie's mouth. "Okay, we get the point!" The shinobi only smirked having never imagined she'd see a blush on Squall's face and not caring if technically this wasn't Squall blushing she still wanted that picture. With those thoughts she turned to actually see what the real Squall was doing. Hah! He was blushing too. She was so right. The two had the hots for each other. Now she just needed to figure out a way to get them to admit it! Ack this'd be so much easier if she wasn't about six inches tall!

So they arrived (Tifa situating Yuffie on her shoulder) only to see no Merlin. Yuffie groaned, "He's still not back? Ack. What'd he go to do anyway?"

But at that moment a voice came from behind her and greeted them with a "Good evening," and Yuffie jumped a few inches (quite a feat considering her height.) And how in Leviathan's name had he gotten there anyway?!

"Just the man we wanted to see! Merlin! Yuffie," here she cast a glare in the girl's direction, "decided to cast a spell on me and Leon. Could you fix it?"

"Which spell book was it?"

Yuffie pointed it out to the wizard.

"All the spells in that book are irreversible I'm afraid," he replied gravely.

"What?!" all three demanded and Yuffie then received more glares. And so they missed a slight change in his expression that nearly resembled... a twinkle in his eye?

Tifa felt she was on the verge of hyperventilating she couldn't do this! She was a woman stuck in a man's body and to make it worse she was in the body of a man she felt immensely attracted to. Completely uncaring how it looked she could feel the tears of anger frustration and some raw fear at what this would mean she cried, "I can't do it!"

"Last I heard we didn't have a choice," Leon replied and she groaned.

"You're no help!" she couldn't help it as she leaned against him and thought, 'I can't do this! I like him!'

"What?" Leon demanded sharply falling back.

"Are you okay?" she asked immediately concerned as he seemed rather shaken.

"N-no I mean what you said," he seemed almost flustered.

She looked at him, trying to collect herself, "…That I can't do this…"

"No, after that," he demanded.

"I didn't say anything after that… did I?" she gulped, blushing furiously, remembering her thoughts after that but he wasn't a psychic so he shouldn't know. She found herself unable to look him in the face.

She slowly felt her head being lifted up as he gently placed his… well technically her fingers on her face though once again technically it was his oh boy this is so confusing already she thought distractedly. "Tifa look at me… please." It was the please that caught her attention it wasn't that he was rude or particularly demanding but usually he'd just ask for something and it was done he was in command after all. But the way he'd said it was surprising too it was so gentle.

She bit back a blush and decided to go for it. Hell she had nothing else to lose she figured. "I said… I like you," and with that she leaned in to kiss him, closing her eyes.  
And when she opened them she was… herself. "Yes!" she shouted elated thrilled so that she impulsively grabbed Leon's shoulders to get him to join the celebration when suddenly she realized it was Leon, the man she'd just kissed, in front of her and she blushed to a crimson red quickly turning to run away when he caught her wrist.

"I didn't get to thank you for that. You did break the spell somehow. I think it's time to return the favor. And one thing that kiss…" she blushed even deeper but still stood shell shocked, "I wonder why it worked but I still think… the situation left something lacking." And with that he gently placed his lips on hers into a kiss that made her nearly made her melt. Oh yes this kiss was certainly better. She pulled away only to see the confusion in his eyes and laughed.

"That kiss was wonderful" she reassured him "but I think somewhere else might be preferable," she finished gesturing towards the two others in the room. He followed quickly having forgotten a lingering question in his mind as to why that kiss had restored them, he had other things he was more interested in like where a certain voluptuous barmaid was taking him. "I still can't believe you can walk," he commented referring back to a much previous conversation and she may have blushed slightly but smoothly replied feigning ignorance as to what he meant "Neither can I," she teased slightly enjoying the look of slight puzzlement on his features and kissing it away. "I don't know anyone else who can go around in full leather in the middle of summer," she explained. Then a devilish smirk appeared on her features, "You must be so hot but I think I have an idea what we can do about that…" she trailed off suggestively as she led him away thinking that maybe Yuffie's spell had done just the trick after all.

* * *

**A/N:** *winces* yes i would prob'ly consider this the most craptastic of my fics b/c everyone seems so ooc (but maybe it's just me I hope so ^_~). my only defense(s) are they're under a spell and well it's a request fic and i had my muse or any sort of ideas completely desert me midway through.

well this fic is a request fic written for 'the sacred and profane' so hopefully you like it dude. i figured it was time i got something out.

oh and thx to gamet and the sacred and profane for giving me some ideas because i an not creative in general. and writing romance and humor... well they're generally not what i write best. i tried tho... so please do be nice this actually wasn't meant to be a serious fic and lemme know if i spelled any of the ff terms wrong.

hope y'all liked the hint of the other pairings; i couldn't resist: i love aurikku and yuffentine is nice as well.


End file.
